Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah

It goes on and on. Sanctions blah, blah, blah. Economy rebounding, blah, blah, blah, currency collapsing blah, blah blah. A looting continua, blah, blah, blah. 

Not to leave Kim Jong-un out of the sanctions blah, here he is lighting up before another inconclusive blah, blah, blah with Trump in Vietnam. His father before him and his father before him were both inveterate smokers.  

North Korea grows its own dark and pungent tobacco and gets better quality stuff from across the drag in China. China is the biggest buster of Western trade embargoes against Kim and a huge buyer of our local leaf, and it wouldn’t be improbable that Kim puffs on a bit of Zimbabwean tobacco now and again, 

Using better tobacco than their own, Kim’s people manufacture fake international cigarette brands to earn forex across Asia where people still smoke with abandon, unlike their counterparts in the West.  

April Fools’ Day has come and gone, but how can you tell the difference between prank and the real thing these days? 

The Judicial Services Commission has just ordered 64 horsehair wigs from a bespoke outfitter near London’s Inns of Court. The wigs for our judges, at around USD 2,000 a pop, have caused a lot of blah, blah : Zimbabwe will never be a colony again and the defense that they still earn respect toward the judiciary, respect it well needs in view of its perceived ‘capture’ by guvment.

Then there were the acquittals of Edmund Kudzayi for being found with a camouflage umbrella and  Zenzele Ndebele for possessing weapons – a used tear gas canister and a cartridge case in Bulawayo, the detritus left on the streets by soldiers and riot police that people pick up everywhere. 

Civilians are banned from wearing camouflage uniforms. In Kudzayi’s case, a prosecutor argued ‘if someone opens and umbrella and uses it to cover themselves it can be said they are wearing it.’

In the other case, the magistrate declared ‘it beats logic that a used canister and an empty cartridge could be defined as dangerous weapons, if weapons at all.’

And now there’s a canister tee shirt. You couldn’t make it up, could you?