Er, umm … It’s hard to think of anything to say except that the lunatics are running the asylum and they think we will believe anything they say. The torrent of lies and half-truths beggars belief. The lunatics think we are the fools.  Investors don’t need the Intenet, they need peace that was disturbed by…

We have a local word in these parts: ‘kufungisisa.’ Literally in the Shona language it means ‘thinking too much.’ But it is also the accepted word for the condition we know as depression. In these torrid economic times, everyone seems to be thinking too much except the fat cats with their accumulated wealth and their…

The government claims the latest cholera epidemic is under control. It’s no consolation to the family, friends and colleagues of eminent musician, composer and choirmaster Rodwell Samkange who has succumbed to cholera in western Harare at the age of 70. His death is a massive loss to Zimbabwean music and the arts world as a…

Much controversy and ridicule swirls right now around excessive government spending on luxuries and the proposed crowdfunding  to help pay for the fight against  cholera. Aren’t we a bit overwhelmed and deadened by it all, like this house in the Namibian desert? Crowdfunding is defined as raising money from a large number of private, ordinary…

Zimbabwe’s ruling ZANU PF Politburo met and appointed most of the dropped ministers from the previous Cabinet as full time party officials in eleven party departments, presumably on good pay and keeping their big cars and security personnel (payable by whom, the party or the taxpayer?). The most wealthy, Obert Mpofu, remains as secretary for…

The more things change, the more they stay the same. Plus ca change, plus c’est la meme chose. So said the French philosopher Jean-Baptiste Alphonse Kerr in 1849. Our once favourite and strong Madison cigarettes, ‘celebrating 40 years of quality,’ are still killing people. So are the police, intelligence organisations, soldiers and the establishment in…

The August holiday period is often called ‘the silly season’ when newsmakers are away from their posts. Nothing much happens so the newspapers and airwaves are filled with stories that wouldn’t make it in busier times. Except when bankrupt Zimbabwe deals yet another shocker. Grace Mugabe’s violent rampage in a Joburg hotel got blanket silly…

It is not just Supa Mandiwanzira, our IT minister, comparing 92-year-old Mr Mugabe to a matured whisky of the highest quality. No-one wants a 5-year-old whisky, good whisky gets better with age, “it’s tasty, it gives us wisdom,” he says. Fine whisky has been called the water of wisdom, but, of course, 99 percent of…

Well, now there’s a new guardian of the nation’s moral rectitude, Mr Mugabe’s 27-year-old daughter, Bona. Unless there are specific exemptions relating to her duties on the official Board of Censors, Bona, eyes agog maybe, will be required to watch hard core porn movies and judge pornographic books, magazines and all else, including sex toys,…

Aha, so now we know. Mr Mugabe doesn’t sleep at meetings. He closes his eyes against bright lights, television lamps and flashbulbs. According to his spokesman, the light-sensitive eye condition requires specialist treatment in Singapore and other heads of state, including Westerners, don’t always have the competent medical expertise at home for their own unusual…